Time. There is only so much of it. There is only so much of it in life. And there is only so much of it before the next “deadline” life demands. I find that at the end of the day I often have regrets about my time management. Some nights I don’t, and on these nights I fall asleep at peace with the days events and accomplishments. Then there are other nights, where I lay in bed disgusted with myself, greatly wishing I could have the day back to do differently.
The way I see it, there are two ways I regret my use of time.
One way is when I spend it doing something I expect will turn out well, but due to circumstances beyond my control it doesn’t. These time wasters are easier to let go of because I didn’t know it would be a waste of time going in to it. At the end of the day I might say to myself “I wish we hadn’t gone to the library today. Our class was cancelled and the boys were so naughty while we looked for books.” Oh well. What is done is done. I had no way of knowing it would turn out badly, so the regret is only fleeting.
But the other regrets are a little harder to cope with because they are longer lasting. Dealing with my own foolish choices is what really sours my soul. When I choose to spend my time doing something that, from the beginning, I know is useless and unproductive I feel a more frustrated regret. Those are the hours I desperately long for. Because I did know better. And I my desire to relive them is more deep because of my shame for how I idled them away.
I wish I felt a bit more like the Rolling Stones. I wish time was on my side. Yes I do.