I bought a couple new “binkies” today.  In three different places on the back of the pacifier packaging are written the following notes.

“Do not leave baby unattended while using a pacifier.”   Really? If that is the case how do you explain the following note:

“May help reduce the risk of SIDS”  It can’t help the baby if it isn’t in his/her mouth, and according to the packaging it shouldn’t be in his/her mouth if the parent isn’t nearby.  But I’m stating the obvious…

The last one is my favorite: (Punctuation and grammatical errors are not mine.)

“In the event the pacifier becomes lodged in the mouth Do not panic.  Ventilation holes in the shield allow breathing. Carefully remove the pacifier from the mouth.”