Two Mistakes

#1: THINKING PEOPLE ARE LIKE ME:

I have a sensitive nature. My feelings are easily hurt and I therefore assume that other people’s feelings are easily hurt. This causes me to, as Richard always puts it, “walk on eggshells”. Richard teases me actually that I create my own eggshells, and that my worries of offending are unsubstantiated. This is a problem because I overthink things to the point of being unable to communicate because I have anxiety about saying the wrong thing. But that is not the reason I had in mind when I realized that thinking people are like me can be a mistake.

That reason is that I expect other people to be ultra-sensitive to my feelings, the way I try to be to theirs. I am shocked when someone does something that offends me. I insist to Richard that it MUST have occurred to them that their action would hurt me. He insists back, naturally, that “No Jo, it probably never occurred to them that this would hurt you.” Could he be right?

#2 THINKING PEOPLE AREN’T LIKE ME

I’ve already discussed on this blog the missed opportunities for friendship because I didn’t think I had anything in common with someone. I heard a quote once that said “We are more alike than we are different.” That way of thinking seems to fill my heart with love and unity. I imagine that if I could see into the hearts of others, I would see that they are much like me. We could commiserate and celebrate together.

So the mistake here is that by assuming people aren’t like me I not only miss out on friendships and understanding, but I am judgemental and critical. I see the mote in their eye, and miss the beam in mine.

I don’t believe that these two mistakes are really related. It seemed fitting to discuss them together because they have both been on my mind. But I don’t believe the solution to one really has anything to do with the other. What I am trying to say is that it isn’t really a dilemma after all.

Maybe…

the solution to #1 is forgiveness and #2 is humility and charity.

So simple right?

7 thoughts on “Two Mistakes

  1. Hi Jo. I don’t think you know me but I have heard alot of good things about you! I am alot like you in what you wrote here. I feel I give alot and have met alot of people but yet I sit here lonely and depressed thinking how am I going to get this done or that with 2 boys driving me bonkers. Or why don’t I have friends that come over and hang out and play games like friends on the t.v. My husband says I push people away because when someone shows interest in being my friend I get too excited and then again I am left alone. Or when I am shopping and see friends shopping together it makes me feel more lonely and depressed. I should be grateful for what I have I have a loving hardworking husband and 2 great sweet smart boys. Why can’t I be happy/ People assume I am because I don’t want to seem down but when I get home I am lonely. I just related to this post. Sorry for the long comment. I think you are doing a great job and seem wonderfull just by what I see in your blog!! I hope you feel better/

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  2. If you think about it, forgiveness, humility and charity are all characteristics of our Savior….Thanks Jo. You have just helped me think of a FHE lesson for my family.

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  3. You again amaze me! I wish I was able to stop and take time to consider others feelings. I am alot the opposite of you and in the same breath, alot like you. I too have many of those same feelings. What’s up with us women. We know how to complicate things!

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