When the subject of Richard’s travel comes up, people inevitably say “I don’t know how you do that.” It must be my sensitive nature, but I always sense judgement when they say that. I suppose it is my insecurity showing its ugly face but I swear they all disapprove.
In spite of my paranoid delusions though, I believe there are people who care about me who would like to know. How do I do it? My keys to happiness husbandless are threefold:
1. Having someone who loves me (Richard being #1 on that list),
2. something to occupy my time and focus (besides phone calls, text messages and emails to said husband),
3. and something to look forward to (again, besides Richard’s return).
1. I have wonderful family in town who helps with the boys so much and offers me company when needed. The boys, though exhausting and frustrating at times, provide me with never-ending unconditional love. And I have great friends who invite me to their homes and help me with projects.
Which brings me to my next point.
2. Projects help occupy my spare time and energy. I love accomplishing things. Improving spaces. Making my home personal.
I also am blessed to work one day a week with great people doing something I find satisfying and engaging.
Twice a week a girl from my ward comes over afterschool to watch the boys so I can go jogging.
3. Lastly, each week I look forward to Thursday nights. I have always wanted to be a dancer so last August I enrolled in an adult beginning ballet class. It is a highlight of my week. Learning something new does something wonderful for my soul. It is a thrill and joy to me. It is probably the most selfish thing I do. (Besides blogging…)
So despite lonely evenings, changing a lot of diapers on my own, and doing a lot of dishes by myself I have been able to continue in a meaningful existence. In fact, I would venture to say, in all sincerity without the slightest nuance of justification, that this experience has made me a more patient mother.
8 thoughts on “this is how”
good job for you! you make it sound like it is really easy. i need the support that you have and maybe it would be.
I hear you!!! When I return I would be interested in taking that class with you if you are still going!
Well said, Jo. I am amazed at how well the whole family deals with “busy season”. Jess has ISI all day Saturday at Mtn. View. You should come and watch her dance.
Goes to prove that the old saying is true “What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.” You are a strong mother, woman. Kudos to you. I think taking time for ourselves may seem selfish, but it is necesarry. If we aren’t happy as an individual, how can we help our family be happy.
I am impressed. You make it sound easier than it probably is. I love that you are taking a ballet class. That is so cool.
That is so cool that you are taking a ballet class!! You’re amazing Jo, such a great person!
Where are you taking your class?? I have been wanting to take a class for a while now, but if I had someone to be accountable to maybe I would actually do it!
Jo…You are so funny. I have a hubby that is gone constantly. Makes you appreciate them more when they are home…You are such a great example! Gonna miss not being in your ward…