this is how

When the subject of Richard’s travel comes up, people inevitably say “I don’t know how you do that.” It must be my sensitive nature, but I always sense judgement when they say that. I suppose it is my insecurity showing its ugly face but I swear they all disapprove.
In spite of my paranoid delusions though, I believe there are people who care about me who would like to know. How do I do it? My keys to happiness husbandless are threefold:

1. Having someone who loves me (Richard being #1 on that list),
2. something to occupy my time and focus (besides phone calls, text messages and emails to said husband),
3. and something to look forward to (again, besides Richard’s return).

1. I have wonderful family in town who helps with the boys so much and offers me company when needed. The boys, though exhausting and frustrating at times, provide me with never-ending unconditional love. And I have great friends who invite me to their homes and help me with projects.
Which brings me to my next point.
2. Projects help occupy my spare time and energy. I love accomplishing things. Improving spaces. Making my home personal.
I also am blessed to work one day a week with great people doing something I find satisfying and engaging.
Twice a week a girl from my ward comes over afterschool to watch the boys so I can go jogging.
3. Lastly, each week I look forward to Thursday nights. I have always wanted to be a dancer so last August I enrolled in an adult beginning ballet class. It is a highlight of my week. Learning something new does something wonderful for my soul. It is a thrill and joy to me. It is probably the most selfish thing I do. (Besides blogging…)
So despite lonely evenings, changing a lot of diapers on my own, and doing a lot of dishes by myself I have been able to continue in a meaningful existence. In fact, I would venture to say, in all sincerity without the slightest nuance of justification, that this experience has made me a more patient mother.

8 thoughts on “this is how

  1. Goes to prove that the old saying is true “What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.” You are a strong mother, woman. Kudos to you. I think taking time for ourselves may seem selfish, but it is necesarry. If we aren’t happy as an individual, how can we help our family be happy.


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