That is not the confession, the confession is this. I recently lived a pregnancy scare vicariously through my dog who is not spayed.
I felt like such an irresponsible pet owner. We hadn’t had her spayed because, despite Richard’s protests, I hadn’t completely given up on the idea of breeding her. Everyone who breeds AKC retrievers tells me stories that leave dollar signs in my eyeballs like that rich cartoon duck.
But alas, even though retriever lab puppies make great pets, they don’t yield a profitable return. If there were puppies on the way they would be giveaways. I would have posted on craig’s list in desparation: “FREE & ADORABLE Labrador Retriever Puppies. Please take one to save my marriage!”
All day every day all I heard in my mind was the voice of Bob Barker at the end of “The Price is Right”—
“Help control the pet population. Have your pet spayed or neutered.”
Enough time has passed that I can finally rest assured that there will be no puppies. But my relief is stained with shame. Rest assured Bob, the dog will be spayed.