Church lasts three hours and for several years now I have spent the last two hours of the meeting tending to the needs of the children, working in primary for those familiar with the lingo. Along with three other women we were responsible for 60-100 children. It made for a pretty intense, but very rewarding couple of hours each Sunday.
Today I was released from that obligation. I went to the adult meetings for the first time in years. As I sat during the last hour I could hear the boys and girls singing and I felt that I had left my heart in the room across the hall.
Although it was stressful in primary, it was always satisfying to feel needed. People relied on me and the kids looked up to me. (At least in my own mind they did.)
Today I felt like a nobody. Just another body in the building. I longed to sit by a restless child and hear them jibber-jabber about Pokemon. Kids love a captive audience. Then again, so do adults…
In any case, I will miss the children. I will miss their irrelevent comments and their brutal honesty. I will miss their inappropriate moments of putting their hands down their pants that left us adults breathless in laughter.
Eating boogers, climbing under chairs, throwing tantrums.
Giving me hugs, genuine smiles, singing like angels.