I started to learn a lot about meaningful relationships and wrote about them after I was in Peru. But I’ve been thinking about them lately.
Sometimes God makes it obvious when He wants to teach you something. I’ve noticed the same principle as a theme of various books and podcasts I have been reading and listening to. That theme is presence. Dr. Laura explained it to a woman by saying “You are not a human being, you are a human doing.” The book I mentioned before explains “Mindfulness is cultivated by paying attention -on purpose and carefully- to the contents of this moment.” I love that.
But what I have been realizing is the way that this mindfulness effects relationships. I believe that happiness comes from quality relationships. And quality relationships are established and perpetuated when you are able to be “present” in the moments you spend with others. Listening. Just being there.
I used to believe relationships were only worthwhile if they would exist in the long-term. I also viewed relationships in a self-serving way. How does this friendship benefit me? Both of these ideas were preventing me from enjoying some real pleasures and joyful moments.
Even fleeting relationships can provide meaning and joy to my life. There is a season for each relationship and the memories and influences of that relationship will always stay with me.
Constantly wondering what the future benefits of present moments will be takes all the satisfaction out of the present moment. Not only am I depriving myself of the feelings associated with that moment, I am failing to meet the needs of the person I am with. I am not being for them the best friend/spouse/mother I ought to be.
What I am grasping at here is that by carefully paying attention to the present moment I can be completely attentive to those around me, and by doing so I can find profound fulfilment in all my relationships.
I am also a sentimental person with a deep desire to maintain relationships from years past. While I believe this is a good desire, it can also be a source of worthless guilt. Another thing I have learned is that it is okay to let go of some relationships. I can appreciate them for what they were when they existed and the benefit that they have been in my life.
Ahh. That felt good to get that all out.
2 thoughts on “relationships: revisted”
You're such a good person Jo. Thanks for listening to me yesterday and being there.
i love your post! you are a good friend:)