Jo: saying to Richard “Are we really having another one?!”

Over a month ago a group of people who cared about the Halladays got together to find unity in trial and to put their grief into action. Because friends and family closest to Mark and Kim wanted to be available for Kim’s more immediate needs, that left a handful of us in the slightly outer circle to put together this fundraiser.

I’ve learned so much. I’ve met amazing people. I’ve become closer to people I already knew.

I’ve worked really really hard.

So even though I don’t like to beg, I’ll beg. Please come tomorrow! Please make my efforts and the efforts of others who have worked hard worthwhile. But especially, come help out a family in need.

It is a Silent Auction at 5:00. Look for a football signed by Coach Pete and the #4 ranked 2010 Bronco team, BSU football and basketball tickets, day passes to Roaring Springs, season passes to Bounce in Meridian, and Meridian pool, restaurant gift cards, spa gift cards, family activities and a weekend stay at a beautiful cabin in Island Park. I promise there is something for everyone.

At 6:00 is the Chili feed with cornbread and dessert. The cost is $6/adult, kids $3, and only $20 for a family. Our Treasure Valley community is a small world and I’m sure you will see someone you know. (Even if it is just me.)

Thanks!

I’m a cynic. Ask Richard. He can hardly get through a story without me getting hung up on some irrelevent detail. I think I’ve told you this before.

Getting personal, in my prayers for Mark I mostly prayed for Kim. To put it bluntly, I didn’t have enough faith to ask for a miracle. At least, until a few days ago. Two friends of mine who shared their tremendous faith with me, got me thinking. Maybe it’s possible. Maybe the faith of those praying for Mark (like Richard told me) would be consecrated on his behalf. So last night I prayed for a miracle. Of course I asked, that if it be the Lord’s will he would allow it. But I asked for it.

I’m not taking any credit here, there are hundreds of people praying for him. But what happened today made this experience personal to me. God hears and answers prayers.

Last week doctors were “keeping it real” with his wife. They even suggested that she start thinking about withdrawing the means that were sustaining his life. She asked them about miracles, they told her they had never seen one.

Today Mark spoke. He answered questions. He is still here. He is coherent and responsive. His existence is meaningful. It has been an amazing day full of joy and hope. I am so full of gratitude. And I’ve learned an important lesson. Doctors can present you with facts and science. But God can grant miracles.

I had a few minutes of downtime at work yesterday so I sat down at the computer and pulled up our patient list. Thousands of names for me to look through for ideas! You can search by first name, so I just started in the “A”s and scrolled down, writing down the boy names and girl names I liked.

After getting through about nine letters I looked at my list. I had six female names listed, and only one male name. The only male name I had written down, I had crossed off about five minutes after writing it down.

This baby is definitely going to be a boy.

It can be frustrating for a fan when you buy into the BCS politics and you want your team to run up the score to earn those so-called “style points” and the coach pulls the starters at the end of the third quarter.

But then you remind yourself that the BCS is a greedy money-based system and that you are lucky to have Coach Peterson as the coach of “your” team.

As Richard and I analyzed the workings of the college football ratings and how TCU made their spread as big as possible I was suddenly grateful for Coach Pete’s appreciation of the bigger picture. I pointed out to Richard the message it sends to the players when you allow them to tromp on a team and destroy their morale unnecessarily just to selfishly make your case to some arbitrary computer program. Contrast that with the messages the BSU coaching staff imparts to their young players about sportsmanship, love of the game, and apathy for all things corporate.

As we lamented the latest BCS rankings and felt sorry for ourselves that TCU is ranked higher than BSU even though we beat them last year, Virginia Tech is doing awesome, and Baylor and Utah didn’t turn out to be so good afterall, I said again- “To heck with it all!” I am going to take on the Coach Pete mentality and forget the national championship and sit back and enjoy the rest of this record breaking season.

There was a great article about Coach Pete and the Broncos written by Pat Forde here. It made me proud to be a Bronco fan. And to the point a friend made on Facebook, I wouldn’t trade our coach for any record or ranking.

Let’s hear it for the classiest guy in college football.

Sometimes I feel so guilty about how short Miriam’s tenure as youngest child will be. In fact, I didn’t even do a “10-month” post because I was too busy announcing the upcoming birth of her new sibling. They change so much so fast at this age. It doesn’t help my guilt that my camera is broken and I am unable to capture these precious weeks of her life.

On Saturday night during the trick-or-treat our friends the Wests made homemade root-beer for everyone. It must have been on Eli’s mind. On Sunday the Sacrament bread was a very dark brown color and Eli said, as reverently as he could, “It’s root-beer bread!”

Tonight during dinner Miriam was making some not so reverent bodily noises. The boys cracked up laughing and I gave Richard an icy look that sent the message “You better not laugh too!” He maintained his composure, until Cameron accused Eli of the dirty deed and Eli shouted out “Cameron says it was me who fainted!” Even I couldn’t refrain from chuckling at that.

One of my personal struggles is understanding how justice and mercy will accomodate for all the right choices I make that others do not. (What a snob I am!) For example, I believe in forgiveness and I want those around me to gain salvation. But I get discouraged when I think about how I try so hard to do the right thing and it appears that others don’t care about trying so hard. The other day while listening to the soundtrack from Les Miserables I had an insight.

If you don’t know the story it might not make as much sense, but in the finale Valjean is dying and he says his good-byes to Cosette. Then the voices of Fantine and Eponine, who have previously died in the play, begin to sing. They say these words,

“Come with me, where chains will never bind you. All your grief at last behind you. Lord in Heaven, look down on him in mercy. Take my hand, and lead me to salvation. Take my love, for love is everlasting. And remember the truth that once was spoken. To love another person is to see the face of God.”

I just had the strongest feeling of unconditional love from the two women, who had made their share of bad choices, as they sang to Valjean. What I felt was the idea that in the next life I will have an understanding of the hearts of the people in my life who I judged, and in perfect clarity I will feel of the grief they experienced on the earth. That feeling of love, charity I suppose, would cause me to not care in the least what they chose as it compared to my choices.

Yesterday while listening to an episode of “This American Life” entitled “Unconditional Love” my understanding of the concept was additionally expanded. I don’t really want to go into the details of the stories, but you can find the podcast on iTunes or here. But I listened to it while I was jogging and nearly had to stop because I was practically sobbing. It just became so clear to me.

Love is not meant to get love. Or in better words, “charity seeketh not her own”. Parents don’t love their children because of the satisfaction of their children’s love in return. (Although that is a joy that after listening to this podcast I realize many parents take for granted.) They just love them. Unconditionally.

Imagine if I could apply that principle to all the people in my life. Totally selfless love without any conditions or expectations of love or reward in return. (Yes, it seems so obvious to me now.)

These are all the feelings the Savior has for us. The feelings I can spend my lifetime trying to obtain. But I believe as a gift to us, we will be able to feel that love for our fellow-men in glimpes in this life and in full in the next. It gives me such hope.

My camera is broken, greatly hindering my blogging motivation.

But I have felt strongly about something lately, and I’ve waited to blog about it to make sure I didn’t go wild in the passion of the moment. Richard and I are typically very private people when it comes to politics. But we always say things to each other like “Why don’t GOOD people run?” “Why is it always the choice of the lesser of two evils?”

A couple weeks ago I had the chance with my mom to attend a casual backyard “meet-and-greet” with Keith Allred. His wife was there as well and I was genuinely impressed. He is not a politician (yet) and I just felt comfortable with him. I’m a cynic too, and not easily persuaded that someone is sincere or genuine. But I was.

He is a democrat and if you take issue with that party label I encourage you to go to his website and read about why he aligned with that party and more about his personal morals. I am truly grateful for someone who is willing to ignore party politics and run for the good of the state. And perhaps I am naive, but I really believe in this guy. And it feels good to believe in something. It feels so good in fact, that I am willing to take a stand on my blog and really put myself out there.

I also respect the opinions of others and certainly do not blame you if you have your reasons for respectfully disagreeing with me. I post this message mostly for those who have yet to become informed or make their own political stand.