I’m just going to go ahead and aplogize here because I’m about to climb on a soapbox.  Not a tall one, not a superior one, because I’m terribly at fault here. Since it is afterall, MY blog I guess I don’t have to make excuses.  BUT, I know I need to write these thoughts down right away because they are coming at me from a million different directions.  Here are the articles that gave me a wake-up call: (In addition to Elder Bednar’s talk I mentioned in my last post.)

1. http://www.deseretnews.com/article/765575928/How-to-miss-a-childhood.html?pg=1
How to Miss A Childhood – Rachel Macy Stafford, Deseret News

2.  http://www.npr.org/2011/02/25/134059283/have-we-grown-too-fond-of-technology
The transcript of an NPR interview with Sherry Turkle
Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other

3.  http://segullah.org/daily-special/the-battle-in-our-brains/
Catherine A. on Segullah

I definitely suggest reading them all.  Reading through each of them was almost painful, as I realized the truth of the science and experiences represented.  I’m going to share a few quotes here and my thoughts on them.  I’ll reference them with the corresponding number to the above articles. 

“when you compose a text, when you compose an email, you can perform. You can compose it the way you want, on your Facebook status update, you can get it exactly the way you want it. And a generation has gotten used to performing themselves. 

They go from I have a feeling, I’d like to make a call, to I want to have a feeling, I need to send a text. In other words, the constitution of a feeling becomes – in order to have the constitution of the feeling, you need to be texting someone about it.

And that becomes a problem because they become dependent on other people even for knowing what they’re feeling, and it’s a kind of use of other people that can get them into trouble. They don’t develop a kind of necessary autonomy that’s so important for an adolescent to develop. ” (#2)

I feel a little embarrassed that she is talking about teenagers and yet I know it applies to me.  I know it applies to me because even as I type this blog I am doing it because I am part of that generation who is compelled to share, and  shares to elicit feelings. 

“Input always travels the path of least resistance. So the second time we see the new image, it will travel the same route. And before long, the new neural pathway has been stimulated enough to “desire” of itself continued activation. A habit is born.

After that, when the brain is not currently occupied, we long for that image. That is why we constantly check our phones or email. That is why, when we have a free moment, we click onto a favorite blog, check facebook, and tweets, or any other source of input we frequent. Without realizing it, we have begun to crave these places of input, hunger for them, to the point where they can surreptitiously dominate our time.” (#3)

It’s frightening how I can relate to this.  I find myself constantly returning to my laptop throughout the day.  I wander back to it to avoid things, to pass time when I’m anxious for something, and because I’m DRAWN to it.  Check my email, check my google reader, check Pinterest, shop on Craigslist or Amazon.  Fortunately she offers some great solutions to over-riding our current neuro-pathways.

The first article listed is probably my favorite as far as “Give it to me straight” dos and don’ts.  She talks at first about ways we are missing our children’s lives, and like I said it was painful how many I could relate to.  But then she turns it to the positive and makes suggestions about how to be actively involved with them.

Prof. Turkle mentions that she doesn’t like to call it an addiction, with addictions complete sobriety requires getting rid of the substance.  But like compulsive eating, we have to live with food therefore it is in our best interest to learn HOW to live with food in a healthy and satisfying way.  And that’s her (and my) view of technology.  Although my guilt is such in this moment that I feel like throwing my computer and iPhone in the garbage, I know that’s not necessary. 

So there are my thoughts.  Obviously the fact that I’m blogging tells me I have a ways to go.  So I’ve “pinned” the articles and plan to come back to this laptop and read them again.  (Yes, Lori, more irony!)

I started getting spam comments, that were sometimes a bit embarrassing, so I now moderate the comments.  They are emailed to me, but then I’m required to login and publish them.  If you notice that your comment hasn’t been published it is simply laziness on my part.  Once I have had the pleasure of reading the comments in my email,(I DO enjoy them!) I tend to forget about them.  So, I apologize, and don’t take it personally if it hasn’t shown up.

My idealistic self has always been anti-video games.  Well, for my kids.  In high school I was a big fan of Tony Hawk on the Playstation and Dr. Mario on the old-school original Nintendo.   And we have had some rockin’ good times with friends and family on Guitar Hero. So I should clarify that I lumped video games into the category of “Things that are okay for adults but not kids” or at least not my kids.. and in moderation of course…

ANYWAY…  

I WAS adamant that we would never own a gaming system. That was until I watched my kids dance with Scott and Jess to “Rasputin” [Just Dance 2] and then we had to have a Wii. 

We love us some Just Dance around here.  In our dream house, I would set up a room with a big tv and no other furniture, just wide open space for us to bust our moves.  It’s a family affair.

We only have two Wii remotes, but that doesn’t stop the whole gang from participating.  Kids are such good sports that way.

**As a side note.  As with most aspects of parenting, my idealistic self has compromised to my realistic self.  That is not to say that reality requires a compromise of principles, just that some allowances are made when the benefits out-weigh the cost, or we discover that the cost wasn’t as severe as we had perhaps imagined.  Or we just become really good at justifying.  This Mormon Message is a little cheesy, but was certainly a good reminder of  my ideals. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CstRqAlAZf0

Resurrection Rolls

You take a marshmallow, white and pure, representing Jesus.  The cinnamon and sugar represented the oils and spices they anointed his body with.  The roll represents the linens and then the oven represents the tomb.  As we prepared the rolls, Richard read from the bible, John chapters 19 & 20.  It actually went really well.  I think the visual lesson was effective and all the kids sat quietly and listened in reverence.   Then of course when you remove the rolls from the “tomb” the linens are left but the body of Jesus is gone.  You get it…

Anyway it was fun to give birth to a new tradition and have it be a success. 

Here is the Easter gang- naturally one picture wasn’t adequate to capture all their darling faces. 

Have you heard of Humans Of New York? Brandon takes pictures and interviews the people of New York city.  Not only are the pictures amazing to a sheltered Idaho girl like myself, his clever captions are hilarious. 

I haven’t been this captivated online since I discovered Pinterest.  Here are a few of my favorites.       [Captions are Brandon’s.]

Two things about this man: 1) He had this very endearing quirk where he always had to be holding something in the air. The first time I tried to take his photo, he held up a bag of chips. When I convinced him to let me hold the chips, he pulled out an umbrella and held it up instead. 2) He was perhaps the most stylish homeless man I’ve ever encountered. Whether or not you agree with the “look,” I honestly would not be surprised to see a dry-cleaned version of that outfit on a fashionista in SoHo.

Hands down the most adorable solution to the economic crisis: Tax the Princesses

Clearly her love is electrifying.

I love that there are cultures where a father and son can walk arm-in-arm without a hint of self-consciousness.

And to think he wanted a son.

“What’s your favorite thing about your wife?” “I can’t say that in public!”

Was laughing pretty hard during this one. Her mom kept saying: “Do it Brown Sugar! That’s right! You a superstar!”

”Now for the million dollar question.” “What’s that?” “Did you break the foot while riding the unicycle?” “No, I didn’t.” “OH MAN, I thought I was going to have a great caption.” “Well, there is good news.” “What’s that?” “I broke it playing Quidditch.” There are OH SO MANY more, but my kids need to eat now.  Check it out!

Simon is learning the ins and outs of the tv remote for a childhood and lifetime of couch potato living. 

 And Miriam, through no effort on my part, has the makings of the most peppy cheerleader there ever was. 

And Eli, well, his taste in clothes indicates he’s got the hipster thing DOWN. 


As for Cameron- he’s got the skills of a captivating story-teller, but that post is still in the works…

On Cameron’s actual birthday we had a little party with the other side of the family.  It was basically three days of birthday parties.  I’m not sure how that math works out, two kids, three parties…

Cameron is everything I could ask for in an oldest child.  He is responsible, conscientious and obedient.  His love language without a doubt is words of affirmation, and the other day when he brought his report card home he beamed from ear to ear while I read the comments from his teacher.  Then when Richard came home he asked him to read it again.  He loves attention, he is the boy in primary who drives everyone crazy when he raises his hand for every question even when he doesn’t know the answer.  He is confident and comfortable in conversation with adults, even if 70% of what he tells them is fictitious.  (We are working on that, more about it later.)  He has a sensitive conscience and he is the only one of my children for which “the look” is an effective discipline tool.  I know we’ll have our work cut out in keeping him humble, he has that irrational self-confidence.  But I don’t antipicate losing sleep at night over this kid. 

We made a couple trips to the Zoo in the spring.  (Spring of 2012 that is…)  The first trip was with Baca and Aunt Brittany and Grace.  Somehow we didn’t get any pictures of Brit and Grace, or Baca for that matter…

Eli’s Super Mario birthday party with cousins and friends.



A litte Mario memory….

Wonder what five-year-olds wish for…

The party crew. 

Eli is, like most of us, a paradox.  I know I’ve talked about it before but he can be our most affectionate child and our most distant child.  He is smart, but a bit lazy.  When he decides to work, he works hard, but its nigh impossible to get him motivated.  He is aware of his siblings and concerned [in excess] about their well-being.  He has hyper-sensitive senses: hates loud noise, weird food textures, bright lights, he can smell his favorite foods from a mile away and his fears are a little bit on the phobic side.  He loves video games and computer games, it has been and will continue to be a delicate balance of regulating them.   He has a great sense of humor and will be the family member who puts us in fits of laughter by reciting movie lines.  He lives the phrase “stop and smell the roses” like it’s his religion.  He loves to look at maps and the GPS on my phone.  For his birthday we gave him our old digital camera because he loves to take pictures and I still haven’t deleted the 300+ pictures he took on my phone. 

He has his niche in our family and we feel so blessed to have him.