[Political views of the children may or may not accurately reflect the political opinions of the parents.]

Cameron has recently decided he is going to be president of the United States.   He really likes President Obama and if you know Cameron at all you won’t be surpised that he has political ambitions for power.  Last night at the dinner table he told us all the things he would tell the country if he were president.  This was very entertaining, but a little tension arose when the conversation took this turn:

Cameron: If I were president I would tell everyone not to hunt animals, only fish, because we shouldn’t kill animals. 

Then the parents (whose opinions shall remain anonymous) shared differing perspectives on the subject.  Finally it came down to this:

Jo: That’s fine if that is how you feel Cameron.  That is the great thing about our country, you can always choose your own opinion and share it. 
Richard:  Yep- in our country you can always choose which of two opinions you want for any issue. 

It doesn’t seem so funny as I typed it, but it was.  There was no cynicism, just humor.

Later last night Richard and I finished watching an episode of The Wonder Years on Netflix and we were discussing how it would be nearly impossible to love Wayne if he was your brother.  Richard said:

“Yeah, Wayne has to be one of the most annoying characters in all of t.v. history.  Second only to Pee-Wee Herman.”

Spot on Richard. 

I made a careless mistake recently that had far-reaching effects.  People were hurt, relationships badly damaged and the fall-out involved a great deal of misunderstandings followed by attempted reconciliation and more hurt feelings.  When I did it, I didn’t realize what the consequences of my actions would be, in fact for a brief moment I thought I was actually being helpful.  Soooo ironic. 

I’d recently been praying for humility, and I’m here to testify that God answers our prayers, and if we really desire weak things to become strong, he will give us opportunities for change.   I offered apologies where I could, but ultimately the damage I caused had to be repaired by the people least at fault.  This was humbling indeed.

Today at church the subject of the talks in Sacrament meeting was humility and I was consumed with knowledge and truth about myself and my weaknesses.  One of the speakers defined humility as “a broken heart and contrite spirit” and if ever I have felt that way in my life it has been in the last few days. 

I am so grateful for good friends and church leaders, for their forgiveness and for God’s hand in my life.  A friend once told me that when you seek truth, and you find it you will wonder why you never sought it before, because you …

well here are his words-

“The wisdom you seek is the heart of what the Gospel isreally all about, though if you’re like me, you never could reallysee it for what it was before now. And because you are a seeker, youwill find deep spiritual truths and sources of joy that you will beconvinced must have been hidden before or else you would have turnedto them immediately…and yet the more you live them the more youwill realize they are ALL around you…in literally every scripture,every song, every sermon, every moment of life.”

March 14th marked one year since the birth of a sweet baby Beckett.  He didn’t make it to his first birthday, and the last eight months since he left his family have made a mark on my heart.  Simon will celebrate his first birthday next week, and my heart is full of gratitude for him.

I wanted Beckett and his mom (who doesn’t read my blog because we’ve never actually met, so I informed her otherwise- hence the pictures) to know we still think of him, and we live our lives differently around here because of him.  So I got a blue balloon for each of the kids and we took them to the cemetary where Beckett’s body rests and sent them heavenward.  We watched them for a long time until we could no longer see them. Cameron was the only one who had any idea what was going on, but it was a tender moment for me. 

Miriam seems to be getting lots of blog time. That will change soon, as all three boys have birthdays and events coming in the next two weeks. In the meantime… She keeps life entertaining.

She has a new nickname. It’s “Mim” and it comes from the way she says her own name. She most often says it when I confront her about her latest disaster and she says “Mim did?”

She is obsessed with this backpack of late.  I finally signed her up for a toddler music class at the library, something to channel her energy, so she keeps her library books in it.  She also keeps her small box of “ho-sees” in it.  The horses pictured below, who stole their helmets from Cameron’s football guys.  Shoot Sean, what are they called?

It seemed fitting to use my 600th blog post as a forum for sharing my thoughts of late. 

600 posts!

I’m going to confess here, and for some of you who could see right through me all this time it will be no surprise.  But I wanted blog fame.  My first year of blogging was simple and fun.  I enjoyed it, I felt no pressure, and I had only a handful of blog-friends to compare myself to.  Then I started to see bloggers emerge, gain “followers” and enjoy blog fame.  So I became obsessed, I blogged often, I set up Google analytics to track my blog statistics, followers, page-views, etc.  I tried to be clever and captivating.  I tried to have original ideas and share inspiring thoughts.  I checked my blog daily, hourly to see if there were any new comments.  But I was never satisfied. 

During this time I felt compelled to blog about everything.  Nothing in my life was enjoyable or satisfying until I blogged about it.  A fun afternoon outdoors with my kids or a delicious dinner was not complete until I shared it with the blogsphere.  Things started to become backwards.  If you are or were a scrapbooker you might relate, creating events just for the sake of the scrapbook page.  I was creating experiences for the sake of the blog post, to make myself look amazing.  I wanted people to wish they were me.  (AHHH, it’s so painful to say that.)

Lately I’ve seen this quote all over Pinterest and it cuts me to the quick. 

“We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are.”
― Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Since I’m 30 now I guess it’s time to develop some maturity.  So I disengaged from Facebook for starters.  After doing that, I started to recognize that I often think in “status updates.”  This was really annoying to realize.  I’ve started to question why I feel so compelled to share share share.  [Let me say that those who don’t share the same insecurities as I do are able to participate on Facebook without comparing/judging/feeling inadequate/being narcissistic. There are entertaining and useful reasons to be on FB. It has been my source of anecdotal research, many laughs and general info about old friends/relatives.]

But all of the sudden I was done.  I am weary of trying to prove via Facebook and my blog that I am a fun-loving mother who cooks delicious meals makes darling crafts has intelligent thoughts and executes impressive home-improvement projects.  While I strive to be all those things, I’m done wasting my effort to share it with the world with the hope that the validation I receive in doing so will somehow make me happy. 

I tried to come up with a clever saying for the following idea, but this is the best I can do.

“I’d rather matter a lot to a few people than matter a little bit to a lot of people.”

So I’m back to blogging.  Blogging for the reasons I started blogging and for my family members who appreciate it.   Should you notice that I am slipping back into my old ways of trying to make myself look good, please just laugh and remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day.  (Is that how that saying goes?) 

Here’s to another, more genuine, 600 posts.

I’m so excited about this. I can’t stop smiling. If you’ve spent years cutting pancakes for kids you’ll rejoice with me.

I saw on Pinterest the idea to put pancake batter in an empty ketchup bottle to make letter and shape pancakes. My letters and shapes were an epic failure. (My second failed Pinterest endeavor this week.) I was feeling discouraged so I just squirted quarter sized circles on the griddle. They cooked super fast so I had to stay on top of it, but when I served them on the kids’ plates I realized what I had magically created. No-cut pancakes. I’m just tickled.

Today I am thirty years old.  I’m pretty happy about this.  For someone who is frequently told how young they look, getting older becomes good entertainment for the purpose of shock value.  The next time someone says I look 16 I can’t wait to respond, “YES! And I’m 30!” They’ll just die.

A woman I admire, but do not actually know, posted the following video on her blog on her birthday. It’s just like her to be the one giving gifts on her birthday.  But this video has made each day of my life better for the last six weeks since I first saw/heard it.  I converted it into an MP3 so I could listen to it on my phone.  I play it each morning after my alarm goes off, to help me “embrace [the] day with an enthusiastic welcome.”

Throughout the day I recall Elder Busche’s words to give me strength.  When I begin to lose patience with one of the kids, I hear Elder Busche telling me to keep things in perspective.  When I feel lazy Elder Busche reminds me that “in thoroughness is satisfaction.”  When someone hurts/offends me – the voice of Elder Busche urges me to forgive.  And when I have questions Elder Busche assures me that through the Holy Ghost I am entitled to enlightement.

I could go on and on, but I’ll just let the video speak for itself.