Funny story.  This morning as I sat down to write this post I realized that 115 of my photos were missing from their location on my computer.  The missing photos included pictures from Cameron’s birthday. I spent an hour freaking out and trying to recover them, and then finally called Adobe to help me find them in my Lightroom app, and at last we recovered them.  It was a relief, but sadly, there were only TWO pictures from Cameron’s birthday. Oops. Sorry buddy. 

Cam’s birthday was just two days after Eli’s, six days after Amirah’s birth, and 8 days after Simon’s birthday, so I’ll cut myself some slack.  The highlight of his birthday was that Baca Bird was flying in that afternoon, so after lunch Richard took the four older kids to drive to Heathrow to pick her up.  While they were gone I baked blueberry scones, per Cameron’s request, but I forgot about them and they were burned. I cried.  But no worries, because we went to Pizza Express for dinner and their dessert options weren’t lacking.  We came home, opened a few gifts, and let Cameron stay up late to watch whatever installment of Harry Potter movies he was currently on.  

Cameron is definitely hitting the tween years, with some mood swings and new feels, but Richard seems to have found his parenting niche, and the two of them can talk through anything.  His heart is so good, and he really wants to do the right thing, and be validated for it.  He is really helpful with the younger kids, especially Amirah, and I appreciate the example he sets for them too.  He still loves every kind of fruit there is, and every sport too.  He was converted to soccer while we lived in England, but I know once Autumn rolls around he’ll get back on board with college football.  He can have his nervous moments, but mostly he is very friendly and brave and I know this will help him when he starts a new school in September.  He is a curious kid, a great conversationalist and one of his best talents is that he tries really hard to engage with adults and little kids alike.  In the last year he got hooked on Harry Potter, and his birthday present from Richard and I was to go to the Motion Picture Studios where the movies were filmed.  Cam is affectionate, has a fantastic memory and is always quick to apologize.  We love you Cama-lama!

Amirah was born on Saturday, and Eli’s birthday was just four days later, on Wednesday.  So we were still in those dream-like first days, and the kids were out of school for term break. I don’t remember much about the day, but I did have the birthday presents wrapped and ready ahead of time.  We went out to dinner at Nando’s, which is just around the corner from our house and made homemade coconut ice cream with chocolate cake.   

I was just telling Lori the other day that Eli is a “white” through and through in the Color Code Personality categories. See here.  He is “undemanding, accommodating, comfortable alone and drama free.”  But that means he also “resents pressure, is uncomfortable socially, doesn’t complete tasks, and can be indifferent.”  

In my own words, Eli spends a lot of time in his own world.  He is easily distracted, but wonderfully self-entertained.  He is totally low-maintenance, so long as I’m not in a hurry.  He is very bright, can be caught reading books late at night or when he should be otherwise engaged, and has a clever sense of humor.  He is starting to recognize his own limits too, for example he knows he shouldn’t read Harry Potter books right before bed and he’ll walk out of the room if a movie gets too scary.  Eli has a compassionate heart, he hates to see others suffer and he hates to see other people be embarrassed or hurt.  Eli is an introvert, but he has a quiet self-confidence and matter-of-fact approach to who he is, strengths and weaknesses.  

He likes sports, mostly soccer, and he will spend hours sorting his football (soccer) cards.  He also likes musical instruments and computer/ipad games.  His favorite foods are pizza, crepes and chicken wings.  

We love our thoughtful and inquisitive Eli-Pie. 

I woke up early Saturday morning to the sound of birds chirping. It wasn’t light outside quite yet, but I couldn’t go back to sleep.  I posted on Instagram about pregnancy insomnia.

Two hours later, around 6:30am, I woke up to use the loo and discovered that I had lost my, ahem, mucous plug.  (Obstetric vernacular can be so unpleasant.) I went back to bed with butterflies in my stomach, knowing this would probably be the day.  I laid there until Richard began to stir, and then I told him that maybe he better stick around for the morning.  (He had left something at the office the day before and planned to go pick it up.)

I felt excited and nervous and thrilled all at the same time, but the problem was that I wasn’t actually in labor yet.  I kept myself busy around the house, I made arrangements for the kids and I waited for some real contractions.  Simon’s birth happened really quickly, each of my labors got shorter and shorter, so I was really worried that this time it would go TOO quickly.  Around 10:00 we took the kids to Mike and Cindy’s house, and called the birth centre.  The midwife suggested that since this was my fifth baby, even though the contractions weren’t strong and regular to go ahead and come in. 
It was around 11:00am by the time we arrived at the birth centre and a midwife checked me.  Nothing. Nada. Nil.  She gave us the option to stay or to go home until things picked up.  I knew I would go crazy hanging around the birth centre so we went home.  We stopped and had some lunch, did some Easter preparations, and then we went for a walk. We walked and walked until the contractions picked up and I was too tired to walk anymore. We walked through the front door, and I sat down on the recliner, and my water broke. 

I changed my clothes and we left for the birthing centre, checking in around 2:30.  By the time I got into my room and changed my clothes again, my contraction were short but really painful.  The plan (if you could call it that) was to use gas and air (nitrous oxide) while bouncing on the birthing ball, until it was time to push.  Then I was going to get into the giant birthing tub and bring my sweet little baby into the world in the water. 

But reality was a little different.  I used the gas and air on the ball for awhile and that part actually worked quite well.  Unfortunately I wasn’t quite sure what my body was telling me, and I wasn’t sure if I was feeling the urge to push, or not.  So I got in the bath and breathed through some more contractions (with gas and air) and decided I needed to push.  **As a side note, my only complaint about my birthing experience was that the midwife didn’t check me at this point.  I wish she had, because I was pushing too early.

Pushing before I was ready to push wore me out. And despite the initial relief of the warm bath water, I couldn’t find a comfortable position in the tub.  Discouraged and exhausted, I decided to get out of the tub for a bit. It felt like everything was taking so long, but looking back I can see that is because I started feeling anxious from 6:30 that morning, and even though labor didn’t really start until 2:00, I had felt mentally engaged all day. The midwife checked me when I exited the water, and this was when we realized it wasn’t time for pushing.  I made my way to the bed, laid down to rest, and a few minutes later I really felt like it was time to push.  Confused, the midwife checked me again, and apparently lots had happened.  She told me that if I wanted a water birth it was time to get back in the bath.  But delirium from the gas, pain and exhaustion prevented me from getting up off the bed. 

By the time she was ready to come, I didn’t have the patience to do things slowly and gently. I pushed her right out, with Richard and the midwife cheering me on, and before I knew it the whole thing was over.  It was 4:53pm, less than three hours from our arrival at the birth centre. Her actual exit from my body wasn’t as painful as I expected it to be and I had my sweet bundle in my arms right away. I LOVED this part.  They didn’t take her away from me at all. I held her slimey, new little body close to my chest for as long as I wanted to.  I delivered the placenta quickly, Richard cut the cord and that was that. 

We passed her along to Richard while the midwife gave me a couple stitches. (Don’t deliver a baby in a hurry, I learned.) But I got to breathe the gas all while she fixed me up, and that was such a blessing.  It completely relaxed me and by the time she was finished I was high as a kite.  Really.  Fortunately gas is only effective while you’re breathing it, so it only took me a minute or two to come back down to earth.

Natural birth was really hard.  Harder than I expected it to be.  Not because it was more painful than I expected, but because it was for an indeterminate amount of time.  How long will this last? What is happening? I felt really flustered and disoriented sometimes.  It was mentally and emotionally hard.  If someone could have told me each step of the way, and given me an exact birth time, I think I would have behaved completely differently. 

But the bonuses of natural birth were that as soon as it was done I had control of my body, I wasn’t shaky or numb, and I could take a shower when I felt ready.  The shower was so nice, because let’s be honest, birth is messy. 
Once I was all clean I went back to the bed and slept for a bit while Richard took care of Amirah.  I had the option to stay overnight, but Richard felt like he should be home with the kids, so I decided to go home too.  We left the birth centre around 9:30, just four and a half hours after Amirah was born. 
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Cindy had come by the birth centre to get a house key, and when we arrived home the kids were all sound asleep. Richard and I climbed into our own bed, with our sweet baby nearby and all was right in the world.  

The day of Simon’s birthday was a school day, and it was a special dressing-up day where the kids were dressing like adults and the teachers were dressing like students.  

For dinner that night Simon picked McDonald’s, then we came home and opened gifts and had cake and homemade ice cream.  (It was a dairy-free recipe I got from a friend and it turned out really yummy.) 

For his birthday Simon got a space shuttle Playmobil (astronauts and planets are his latest obsession), some dairy-free chocolate and coloring things from Cindy and the fam, some other Playmobil from Baca and Grandpa Hall,  a few books and some football cards.  

If I had to describe Simon in one word it would be delightful. He is just a really pleasant kid.  He has a smile that endears everyone, his subtle British accent is charming, and he loves cuddles and attention.  The teachers at his school all comment about how easily he can be consoled with a quick hug and pat on the head, whenever he is hurt or sad.  At school he sometimes cries about missing his mom, and both Richard and I felt like he had anticipatory displacement. Before Amirah was born it was as if he could sense that things were going to change, and he was especially needy and clingy.  

Simon loves his siblings, he loves to play with his friends at school, he loves Harry Potter, Star Wars and football (soccer). He has a literal bounce in his step when he’s feeling happy and it steals my heart.  He is starting to really test boundaries by ignoring us when we tell him to do something and I think he thinks he can get away with anything.  (Classic youngest child behavior, probably.) He apologizes in such a sweet way when he does something wrong that it almost feels manipulative, and the other day he PROMISED me that he would never wee the bed again.  

He is obsessive about his “homework” from school, he has learned how to read this year, and he has gift for remembering song lyrics and LOVES to sing.  He’s really a fantastic and bright edition to our family and we love our little Si-guy! 

March 25th was Good Friday, which is a public holiday in the UK, so the kids were out of school.  Richard would have usually had the day off, but anticipating that a baby could be coming soon he went in to the office to wrap up some projects.  (Which turned out to have been a very good idea indeed.) 

The weather was gorgeous and I wanted to take the kids somewhere fun, but easy to manage and close to home.  So we decided to walk up to Greenwich park.  Greenwich park is probably our family’s favorite place in London, and in the Spring it is gorgeous.  We ate lunch at home, packed some water and snacks, and took scooters and footballs and off we went.  I figured all that walking couldn’t be a bad thing for my pregnant self. 

I didn’t know that day that it would be my last day counting only four heads.  But looking back at these pictures I can appreciate that we were entering a new phase of life.  The four older kids are mostly independent of me; I could sit and relax at the park whilst keeping an eye on them, but they entertained themselves and didn’t need me.  Having a new baby changes things, and I’m grateful for the last couple years that we’ve had where we could take Cameron, Eli, Miriam and Simon around London without a stroller, diapers or nap-times.  I’m also grateful that they kids have built-in playmates. We spent a few hours at the park that day and Cameron and Eli played football together virtually the entire time, while Mim and Si ran around together and raced on their scooters.  I don’t think I could have planned a better end-of-an-era farewell party even if I had known.  

As my days of independence are winding down I’ve been trying to get out and enjoy the city as much as I can.  At the end of this week the kids begin a two-week school break, during which I’m hoping to have a baby.  It has been such a pleasure to have these days and moments to myself.  All of these pictures were just taken with my phone, I’ve gotten pretty lazy about carrying my nice camera around with me.  

4 March – Richard and I have also been trying to make the most of our childless time, since babysitters are hard to come by, and so we’ve been having lunch dates on Friday.  One particularly sunny Friday after I dropped off the kids at school I decided to walk to his office in Canary Wharf.  I walked through Deptford, along the southside of the river, caught a river boat to cross, and then walked through Westferry Circus (a really pretty little place) to Canary Wharf.  It was all wonderfully pleasant and took me about two hours, so I arrived a little early for lunch.  I sat in the KPMG lobby and listened to my audiobook while I waited for Richard.  

10 March – I had a birthday gift in mind for Eli that I needed to buy at the British Museum, so on another day out I spent a couple hours there in the morning, had lunch alone at Wagamama, and then did some walking in Soho, where I picked up some unbelievably tasty doughnuts at Crosstown, per the recommendation of a doughnut loving sister of mine.  

17 March – It was looking to be another sunny day so I chose a park I found on Pinterest that was located near King’s Cross Station.  But upon leaving the station I discovered that I was right by the British Library, which was also on my list of places still to see.  So I went there first, and it was the most fortuitous accident.  I may or may not have made it there if I hadn’t stumbled upon it like that, but it was one of my favorite places I’ve been to.  I only spent an hour there, in the Treasure Gallery, and treasures there were!  

There were original musical scores by Bach, Mozart and others, including the original score of Handel’s Messiah.  There was an original Magna Carta.  There were countless religious documents from all faiths, that were hundreds of years old. But my favorite were the original manuscripts from authors like Dickens, Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte and others.  It was so fascinating to look at their pages, see the phrases they crossed out and changed, and imagine them writing on those very pages, ideas that became famous works of literature.  I couldn’t stop smiling.  There was also a really fun Alice in Wonderland exhibit celebrating the books 150 year anniversary.   

From the library I walked to the Camley Street Natural Park, which was green and lovely, but a little bit of a let-down.  But as I walked along the canal, in no particular direction, I stumbled upon something else perfectly delightful.  Granary Square was “opened” in 2012, but it was designed around existing historic buildings, making it a really fun blend of modern and classical.  It is right along Regents Canal, and has coordinated water fountains and restaurants, and aesthetically pleasing landscaping.  I went into Waitrose and bought some almonds and carrots and ate my lunch basking in the sunshine and ambiance, feeling quite lucky to have found it.  

From there I went back to Soho for more doughnuts and a little shopping on Regent’s street and then, completely exhausted, caught a train home.  

My heart just bursts with love for London and all she has to offer.  

The family rule around here is that you get to have a birthday party with friends when you turn five, eight and twelve.  So this year Simon was up.  I actually tried to talk him out of it and offered other fun activities as an alternative but he really wanted to invite his friends from school, so party we did.  It had a loose Star Wars theme, but I’m not a Pinterest party mom so we just had a few Star Wars related plates and coloring pages.  

We started off with pizza and chicken nuggets for lunch, and then moved to the living room to play minute-to-win-it games.  The games were hilarious.  The kids were such a fun mix of competitive and couldn’t-care-less, uninhibited and introverted, and rule-followers and cheaters.  

The party was pretty crazy, but is there a children’s birthday party that isn’t? I think the kids had a good time, Simon especially, and that’s a win.  

I’m going to go ahead and just write all the questions I used for each of the boys, but some of them have obviously been personalized to my kids and their experiences, or maybe books they have read recently.  One of the great things about this idea was that if there was something I specifically wanted to know, about what they were thinking our how they were feeling about something, this was the perfect opening.  Although, sometimes when I was fishing for something specific, I didn’t get any satisfactory response, whereas other less targeted questions yielded great insights.   Just as a disclaimer, there were some questions I didn’t worry about asking Cameron, but I wasn’t comfortable asking Eli. So I just suggest being thoughtful and deliberate about your kids and their needs.  

Also, some of the questions are political and some are religious.  I also let them write about a book they have just finished or once in awhile they choose their own topic.  

I hope if you try this with your kids you’ll find it as rewarding as I have. And I’m always in need of new questions- so if you think of any post them in the comments! 

CAMERON: Age 10 

– What do we mean when we say “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence?”
– What causes you to feel afraid? Do you feel fear about non-physical things?
– What is something about yourself that you don’t like?
– What is respect? Who deserves it? How do you show it or give it?
– If you could have been someone in history, who would you have been? 
– If you could do whatever you wanted, right now, what would you do?
– If you could be in the Guinness Book of Records, what would it be for?
– What does the phrase “personal responsibility” mean to you?
– Describe a time when you felt very angry. 
– What is violence? Do you think there is too much violence on T.V. and in video games?
– What are some reasons for not drinking alcohol?
– Is bullying a problem at your school? If it is, why do you think so? If it is not, why do you think so?
– How old should you be to have a smart phone? Why?
– What is racism? Why are some people racist?
– How do we determine if one culture is better than another?
– Why is racism a problem? What can you do?
– Do violent video games make people more violent in real life? 
– What are your favorite movies?
– What makes a good commercial?
– Do moms and dads expect different things from their sons and daughters? 
– Why aren’t there more girls as leaders in countries, government and businesses? 
– When should a government decide to solve problems using the military?
– What is gratitude? How does it make us feel more happy?
– What does it mean to be a good listener?
– If you could travel back in time to your nine year old self, what advice would you give about moving to London?
– Who is a person you know that seems the most Christ-like?
– Is it easy for you to pray? How do you picture God?
– How should parents handle a bad report card?
– Are your parents too protective? Not protective enough? Or just right? How do they protect you?
– Is the UK a great country?
– What stops you from being kind to other people?
– What are some qualities of a good leader?
– What song lyrics do you love?
– If you could invite anyone to dinner, who would you invite? What would you talk about?
– Could you understand what it was like for Malala to move from her country to England? What feelings did you have in common with her?
– What rights and freedoms do you have that are important to you?
– What opinions do you have that are the same as your family?
– What opinions do you have that are different than your family?
– What are the advantages and disadvantages of being the oldest?
– Are there times when it is best to not to speak out, and times when it is best to make your voice heard?​

ELI- Age 8

– What do you like most about yourself?
– What historical figure do you admire?
– What does it mean to be brave? Have you ever done something brave?
– What is one of your life goals? What will it take to accomplish it?
– What makes you feel safe?
– What does kindness mean to you? How does it make you feel to give it and receive it?
– Is it easy or hard for you to make decisions? Why?
– If you were a mouse in our house in the evening, what would you see you family do?
– If you make a mess, who cleans it up?
– If there were no rules, what would happen in your city?
– Why does God give commandments?
– Why do you think the ability to focus is an important quality?
– What do you think the world will be like in 50 years?
– How does your school deal with students who misbehave? Do you think it works?
– Does it matter how many kids are in a class? 
– Does technology make us more alone? 
– Why is it important for people to care about one another?
– Why is cultural diversity important?
– Why do we need art in our lives?
– What are your favorite books and authors?
– Do you think boys and girls should have different jobs or responsibilities?
– Does having a lot of money make you happy?
– Which is more important, talent or hard work?
– Do people complain too much?
– Is it important to live in a clean house?
– What makes a good friend?
– When was a time that your feelings were hurt?
– What is the hardest part about being eight?
– Who is your favorite aunt or uncle? (Don’t ask me why I chose this question- but Eli wrote the sweetest most diplomatic answer about how it would be rude to choose a favorite and he loved all his aunts and uncles.) 
– If you could be an animal for a day, what would you be? 
– How much food does your family waste?
– How do your parents teach you to behave? Do you agree with it?
– Is America a great country?
– Each day people do things to you that make you feel sad or angry. What are those things? How do you forgive?
– What are the best things about being part of a big family?
– What do you want to be when you grow up?
– What is your favorite season?
– Why does your brain experience fear? How does this help you? How does it hurt you? 
– What are some ways to help you handle fear?

The kids have a week holiday in the middle of each term, and sadly during their half-term break in February we were fighting a horrible stomach flu.  It took eleven days to work its way through each member of the family, and none of us were spared.  But between the first wave and second wave, when we were naively believing it was finished, we had one good day to go out.  I chose another Adventure on foot and we followed it almost exactly, beginning with the Bank of England Museum.  

The museum was really kid-friendly, I think in fact it’s directed almost entirely for children.  It talked about the history of the Bank of England, inflation, the gold standard, and the evolution of British currency.  We were also really lucky that since it was half-term there was a man doing “readings” from The Wind in the Willows.  Kenneth Grahame, the author, was a long-time employee of the Bank of England, and there is an exhibit there to honor him.  The gentleman performing was all dressed up, and did an animated performance of a scene from the book.  It was so great, the kids and myself were all captivated.  Mim and Simon wanted to stay for a second performance but others of us were getting hungry. ​

We walked from the museum to Leadenhall Market, which makes a brief appearance as the entrance to Diagon Alley in the first Harry Potter movie.  We ate lunch there, and a couple really nice women complimented my kids on their great behavior.  You’d never know what good kids they are from the expressions on some of these faces…

After lunch we walked to The Monument, which is a tall Doric pillar that was built as a memorial to the Great Fire of London in 1666.   The monument was begun in 1671 but took six years to build because of a shortage of Portland stone. This caused the king to issue a proclamation forbidding anyone to use this particular type of stone for any projects without the express permission of Sir Christopher Wren, the architect and surveyor of the monument.  

We climbed 311 steps to the of the monument, although Cameron swears he only counted 307.  

After we descended the windy staircase with caution, we went to Patisserie Valerie to pick up the birthday cake I had ordered for myself; the cake that we wouldn’t get to eat for two days because of the aforementioned stomach flu…

I’m sure we picked the worst time of the year to see England’s most famous beach.  But we knew that we probably won’t have any better opportunities, considering our list of things to see is not shrinking, so one Saturday we decided to just make a day of it.  Because we are in South London, it’s a pretty straight shot out of the city and it didn’t take us long to drive down.  

It was really windy, cloudy and although we didn’t get rained on, we were cold.  That didn’t stop the kids from wanting to play on the beach, which they did for as long as Richard and I could handle it.  Then we we went to the Brighton Pier, played some games in the arcade, and just watched the crazy waves crash into the pier and the shore.  There was actually a guy surfing that we watched for a bit too.  

There were a lot of fun restaurants and shops all along the beach front, boardwalk style. I’m sure in the summer time there are people everywhere eating ice cream and flying kites.  

We found a place to eat a late lunch/early dinner, which took longer than I had expected.  I wanted to see the Royal Pavilion, but it was dark by the time we finished, so we just did a drive-by.  (We had seen it as we came into Brighton as well.  It’s gorgeous.)  

It wasn’t at all the Brighton experience I’ve read about in Jane Austen books, but it is always nice to get out of the city for a day.