Fall Extracurriculars

November 30, 2013November 16, 2018 / Jo Bird / Leave a comment

Miriam is my most cooperative model. She is always willing to strike a pose. I have so much fun with season changes, and although I don’t claim to have any great handle on fashion, I really like putting together outifts, with her added input of course. I’m obviously biased, but she seems to me to have a perfect balance of style and personal preference, while still being practical and functional. Once in awhile she comes up with something a little wild- but it’s fun to let her go with it.

For a couple days in a row there were MASSIVE rainstorms. Maybe not by South American standards, but they were epic by Idaho standards. The second evening I let the kids go out in their pajamas and splash their little hearts out. This was at the end of the downpour, and there may have even been rainbows emerging. What’s not to love about storms? (Oh- broken trees. We had one of those.)

Eli had his first chance at sports this fall. There is a local sports league that is super low-key. It includes a 20-minute practice right before the game, and then a 40 minute game. The practice/games are always on Saturdays and always in the same hour block of time. It was perfect for him. This soccer mom loves low-commitment. Having a bit of a tortoise reputation, along with a slight lazy streak, Richard and I were both pretty shocked about how much effort and energy Eli played with. He took it seriously. Despite the relaxed stance he is taking in this photo- he really did a good job at goalie.

Miriam started pre-school this fall. We are doing another co-op with five other girls and one boy. Paige, Lila, Addie, Klara, Aubrey and Brock make up her classmates. Saying she loves it would be an understatement. She is Miss Social and begs for play-dates every day after preschool. She is the youngest in the group and I think doesn’t quite have the alphabet skills of her peers, but she doesn’t seem to mind.

This year was Cameron’s last year of flag football. There were many parental discussions about whether or not to let him play tackle football next fall, he is small for his age and would have been up against kids twice his weight. Fortunately London made that a moot point!

This was his third year playing with the same group of boys, and their coaches Fred and Marcus (and Richard of course!) did a good job with them. Cameron mostly played defense and it was always fun to see the satisfaction on his face when he would make a “tackle”, AKA get a flag. They went undefeated and were honestly an entertaining team to watch. And I don’t mean that in a comical way, as it sometimes goes in kids sports. They executed legit plays and I’ll never forget Max for his interceptions and QB passes, and Grayson’s awesome catch in their last game.

And Simon. He just grew. And stole our hearts.

Playing on the “KidPad”, which is my old iPhone that suffered death by cupcake.

My extracurricular activities this fall included Fly Management and physical therapy. I hurt my knee during my Ragnar in late June but I didn’t realize it because I took the month of July off from running and spent the month of August trying to figure out what happened. The physical therapy seems to have worked, the side effect being that my PT told me I needed to branch out. Less running and more of other sports. So I try to hit a yoga class when I can. I could write a whole post about yoga. Maybe I will…

Miriam had a field trip to the pumpkin patch that Simon tagged along on. Ever since then, when we drive past the big red barn on Linder, both Miriam and Simon shout “MY FIELD TRIP!”

Fall was exhausting for all of us. It’s both exciting and demanding to get back into the routine of school and after-school activities. Eli started doing recreational gymnastics with Miriam once a week after school. And Cameron picked back up with scouts once a week too. I also found a willing piano lesson teacher in the form of a high school girl in our ward who is very musically talented and conveniently lives within walking distance from our house, so Eli and Cameron do that once a week too. Like sands in the hour glass, so are the days of our (crazy and busy) lives.

Magnificent Motherhood

November 21, 2013November 16, 2018 / Jo Bird / 5 Comments

At the risk of being judged a bad mother by all who read this, I share the following heartbreaking story.

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Getting Cameron and Eli off to school in the morning is the second most stressful time of the day. (The MOST stressful time of day is what we call the witching hour. The hour between dinner and bed when any patience I started the day with has long left me and instead of putting my children to bed I am putting the circus to bed. 87% of head wounds in this household happened during the witching hour.)

So when Miriam came to me yesterday morning in the chaos of gloves, signing school papers and packing lunches and told me she needed to go potty, I just told her to go. I said it nicely, but lately she’s been wanting me to do everything for her. (I miss the defiant independence of the two year old! Did I just say that?) I told her calmly that I couldn’t take her to the bathroom and she would need to go herself.

As I zipped coats and hollered at Eli to hurry up, my battle with Miriam escalated. The thing is, when I yell at the boys, I get what I want. I feel lousy afterward, but it’s effective regardless. It’s not my best parenting, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So I yelled at Miriam

“GO TO THE BATHROOM!!! Or we’ll leave without you!”

She shut down. Not effective. She burst into tears and yelled back at me. Feeling all the stress and frustration of a tardy mother who is the carpool driver, I grabbed her, set her on my bed, herded the other stunned children into the van, locked the front door and drove away.

About the time I picked up Carter I started to panic. Cameron and Eli, feeling the tension, were fighting in the back seat and Eli was crying about his lost beanie. Can she unlock the deadbolt? Would she go outside by herself? Would someone see a three year old alone in the rain and call the police? Surely I would be arrested for neglect! And that would be so unfair because I’m not a bad mother! I drove past our house on the way to the school and no sign of Miriam on the lawn. (Of course I couldn’t stop, we were LATE and if the kids miss the bell then I have to sign them in at the office which means I have to get out of the car in my pajama pants and be seen by other much more responsible adults.)

After I dropped off the boys the atmosphere in the van was quiet and still. Simon asked me

“Where’s Meeyum?”
“She’s at home.”
“How come?”
“She didn’t obey.”
“She didn’t obey?”
“That means she didn’t listen to Mommy and do what I said.”
“Oh.”

Silence.

Lost in my own thoughts I almost missed it, but I didn’t. I heard it. Simon’s tender little whisper in the seat behind me. And it rocked my very soul.

“Meeyum, we almost home. Meeyum, we almost home. Meeyum, we almost home.”

In that moment it became abundantly clear that it was ME who was the crazy one. From Simon’s perspective it wasn’t Miriam who was being totally unreasonable, it was ME. The adult. No one was going to feel sorry for ME, it was Miriam who deserved the sympathy. Of course she did. She’s three and I’m 31.

When we got home I found Miriam right where I left her, only she was much calmer. Her little shoulders rose and fell as she tried to resume normal breathing. I pulled her on to my lap.

“Miriam. I’m so sorry I yelled at you.” I had no more said her name before she broke down again.

“You hurt my feelings Mommy.” She didn’t say it to punish me. She didn’t say it because she was angry. She just said it matter-of-factly as if to explain why she was presently so upset.

***************

Richard was telling me last night about how he used to feel so good when he would hear other adults tell his parents what a good boy he was. He recalled how his dad would say

“I’m just doing what I can to not screw him up.”

Richard said he used to think that was a joke, but now as a parent who frequently fails, he (and I both) realized his dad was being absolutely genuine when he said it. We talked about how we are so grateful for the Savior’s grace that will protect our children from our shortcomings. Because we really have great children and we really don’t want to screw them up.

Halloween 2013

November 4, 2013November 16, 2018 / Jo Bird / 1 Comment

So we have Eli on the left- a Storm trooper. He asked for weeks to be a storm trooper but I kept holding out that I could convince him to be a jedi again, like Cameron and Charlie. But he was adamant. So at the last minute my friend Kim came to the rescue with this perfect costume, it was exactly what Eli wanted. *Sigh of relief* Halloween wasn’t ruined.

Cameron as a Jedi for year two. This was a brilliant scheme concocted by Adri. “You tell Cameron that Charlie is going to be a Jedi again and I’ll tell Charlie that Cameron is going to be a Jedi again.” It came off beautifully and it was one less child to outfit.

Miriam as the lovely Snow White- with a handmade dress by Baca Hall. Her fair skin was perfect although I was never able to successfully apply any red lipstick, like a red red rose. The wig was a big hit though.

And Simon, poor Simon, wearing a recycled storm trooper costume that had been rejected by Eli in years past for not being the “right” storm trooper costume. (Hence my relief this year when the “right” one was discovered.)

We had the pleasure of celebrating Halloween in Las Vegas/Henderson this year, which was a pleasure indeed! Although the locals thought I was crazy in just long sleeves it was balmy for us Idahoans. People left their front doors open or even sat out on their porches and driveways to hand out candy. It was quite festive and the kids had a grand ol’ time trick-or-treating it up with their cousins.

The only Halloween tragedy this year was that after the kids left their excess candy in their bags on the porch, and the Switch Witch came to exchange it for books, a criminal in the making stole Eli’s Star Wars character encylopedia out of his bag. Right off the front porch, in the wee hours of the morning. It was a real let-down but the Switch Witch compensated him for his loss.

Then…a few days later…there were these amazing brownies… made with chunks of confiscated Halloween candy…

Fallish Things

November 1, 2013November 16, 2018 / Jo Bird / Leave a comment

Trees get bigger. Bigger trees=More leaves. Leaves=FUN!

There is something seasonally delightful about raking leaves on a warm autumn day. And there were no shortage of warm days this fall. But by the third or fourth day, delight is lost. Even for the kids, who were made to be my labor force. Stuffing leaves in bags is not a one-person job. Fortunately I took these pictures on the first day of leaf raking.

I had extra motivation from Cameron and Eli though, because they wanted a leafless football field. They spent HOURS outside playing football this fall. I was so grateful for the warm weather, so grateful they enjoy being outside, so grateful they play together, etc. When we introduced ourselves to some new neighbors at church they said

“Oh okay. You’re the parents of the boys who are always playing football.” Some other neighborhood friends and ward members will sometimes pull over as they drive past and say hello to the boys, or cheer them on.

Ducks

October 2, 2013November 16, 2018 / Jo Bird / 3 Comments

A friend of mine shared this article with me and I loved the analogy of the duck. Above the surface the water is peaceful and serene. The duck even looks composed and content. But down in the water, under the surface, the duck is kicking her webbed feet with fervor to keep moving.

I’ve long tried to keep my blog real, I’ve never wanted to use it as a tool to make everything above the surface look perfect and beautiful. But this last year, I have been frantically kicking beneath the water. In my efforts to stay afloat and keep my life in order, I haven’t had time or emotional energy for blogging. I also felt like a blog post was hardly an accurate representation of my life beyond the laptop. Well, with the exception of posts like this one.

I hope to return to blogging- which might be a monumental task to catch up. But thanks for reading, thanks for asking about the blog, and thanks for whatever role it is that you play in my slightly dysfunctional, majorly chaotic life. I apologize if my relationship with you has suffered in the last year as I’ve been consumed by motherhood and self.

First Day of School 2013

August 28, 2013November 16, 2018 / Jo Bird / Leave a comment

Because it makes sense to skip forward a year, right?

This kid was so pumped to go back to school. Of course he’s way too cool to admit that. He always played it off like all the other kids. But the tetherball was calling his name! His teacher this year is different than any teacher he has ever had before. She’s tough. And he’s sensitive. It’s been a rough go so far. I didn’t know anything about her, but I don’t think I would have done anything differently. It’s a tough balance in parenthood, trying to create environments where your children will thrive, while also teaching them to be flexible and adapt to difficult circumstances. I know he is learning a lot from Mrs. Hoiland.

In Eli’s case I decided to step in and try to set him up for success. When class lists were posted I saw that he was in a larger class, with neither of his two friends, and a new teacher. The new principal of their school is in our ward, and I was worried about him thinking I was trying to get special treatment, but I just really thought Eli would do better in the other class. He is timid and being in a class with some familiar faces, including Miss Hall who was Cameron’s kindergarten teacher, just gave me more peace of mind. It turned out to be an easy switch and I’m so grateful it worked out. I love our little community in Kuna, and I love that Eli is having a teacher Cameron had.

Didn’t I say something about hamming it up? And reserved pleasure?

RAGNAR: Round 2 – Wasatch Back

June 30, 2013November 16, 2018 / Jo Bird / 1 Comment

This was actually my second Ragnar, and I loved my first Ragnar as much as I loved this one. I just blogged about this one first because I’m going backwards and this one is the freshest in my memory. Maybe it will help rekindle Ragnar Las Vegas memories…

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Years ago I met my friend Molly on an online forum on CafeMom. It seemed like we had everything in common and we started emailing. Then we started texting. And then phone calls.

When Molly’s Ragnar team needed some runners she asked me if I’d be interested and then we roped in our friend Jeni. (Who we also met online.) Erica and Josh were Molly’s friends, and part of the original team, but at the last minute Josh’s friend bailed so we recruited Chantel who was already in Utah. (And a marathoner!)

It’s hard to explain virtual friends. And how and why they became “real” friends. And how something about that transition has made a friendship that is totally honest, real, and vulnerable. Maybe because I had nothing to lose? Maybe because there were no expectations about what kind of person I was “supposed” to be? Maybe because Jeni and Molly are naturally open and forthcoming. But with Jeni and Molly I have no inhibitions. I had also spent a lot of time reading Chantel’s blog, and she had worked with Richard briefly during an internship. We had emailed too and our “virtual” friendship became real and meaningful quickly. I now consider them among my most loyal and dearest friends. They don’t know my family much at all, and we’ve never even lived in the same city. But we have long, in depth conversations about everything from politics to faith, marriage, childhood, parenthood and emotional health. These women were answers to prayers and friends I didn’t know I needed.

Anyway-

Spending a weekend in a minivan is to a friendship like wind is to a flame. It strengthens the strong and extinguishes the weak. Or something like that…

I LOVE Ragnar races. I really love them. I love getting to know people in intense emotional situations. (Can you say crazy adrenaline highs, total emotional meltdowns, sheer exhaustion, and ravenous hunger irritablity?) There is so much solidarity. SO much authenticity. No pretense. I had the time of my life.

So as it turned out our team was five females and then Josh. Josh has to be one of the most kind, chivalrous and patient men I’ve met.

Bright and early Ragnar morn. From Left to right- Jeni, Jo, Josh, Chantel, Molly, Erica. We were Van 1- so we kicked it off. Erica ran first, she is an experienced Ragnarian and she is legit. She is fierce and tough. but loyal and supportive. No one cheered like Erica. See below.

With Erica and the bull-horn, wherever we went we were the life of the party. (Like it or not. Which was sometimes not. Mood swings are status quo.) But team support is the kind of thing that makes my throat get tight and sentimental tears start to fall. Even after two exhausting days and 19 miles of running.

We got our new van just in time for Ragnar. Despite my inability to operate it’s complex (not really) technology it suited us well. Close proximity made for hilarious/intense/emotional conversations. And it only took a month and some major elbow grease to get off all the car paint.

The scenery was awesome. The race went along the Wasatch Back, through small towns and farms and reservoirs and other things we couldn’t see because it was night.

The other team was all women, leaving Josh the lone man. Unfortunately I didn’t get to meet them or know them very well. But they had the toughest legs (pun intended)- so cheers for them!

This was my first leg. It was my toughest, which didn’t make much sense because it was my shortest and it was flat. But it was hot, and I think the elevation was really hard on me. My second leg was okay, it was in the evening and also relatively flat. My last leg was my longest, and had the most incline, but for some reason it was my best. I whined about it all weekend, leading up to it. I was super anxious about it and wondered what I had been thinking. But maybe by then my body was adjusting to the elevation, and I knew it was my last leg so I could leave it all out on the table. I had major adrenaline surges that carried me through and I OWNED it. If I do say so. I injured my knee but didn’t realize that until a month later when I tried running again. It was worth it though. It was one of my best running moments of my running history.

Sporting some festive night-time accessories.

Chantel’s running style is a perfect model of her approach to life. She is quietly confident, without guile, and so unassuming that those who encounter her can’t help but be totally impressed. She is unquestionably competent and unbelievably gentle and compassionate to others.

It also has to be said that Jeni ran this Ragnar just a couple years after being totally paralyzed from the waist down. After an emergency surgery she had the problem resolved, but running still requires serious strength, and a deliberate and conscious effort to lift her left foot with each step.

The whole gang in the van while I ran. What happens in the minivan stays in the minivan. Including iPod idol. Google it though. And then play it. And then laugh REALLY hard at your friends.

Molly was the glue that held our team together, the common link between us all. The diplomat and decision maker and sense of humor initiator. She never lets me take myself too seriously and isn’t afraid to call anyone out on obnoxious behavior. And since this blog post apparently turned into a brag-fest about my Ragnar teammates- Molly is employed at Stanford and humors me when I think I’m being intellectual.

If I’m being totally honest – which these friends would encourage me to be- I sometimes have doubts about God’s hand in my life. MY life. Jo Bird’s life. How much does He really do for me personally? But when I think about the way I met these women and the way we became friends I know there was divine influence. Love you guys so much.

So Long Family Van

June 4, 2013November 16, 2018 / Jo Bird / 3 Comments

We’ve been talking about getting a new van for awhile.

This last January was the coldest January since 1987 or something like that. There were days at a time where it didn’t break freezing. The heater in the van wasn’t quite heating so on the really cold days I would put all the kids’s coats in the dryer to warm them up, then put them on really fast and load up to drive to the kids to school.

That is just the beginning of the things that didn’t work in the van.

So a few weeks ago after it started making a new noise, one that was embarrassing when you drove through a parking lot with the windows down, (with the windows up you could forget the high pitched squeal everyone else was hearing) we decided to amp up our search. We did our Consumer Reports research and scoped out Craigslist for a few more weeks before we test drove a car.

After spending one evening, and test driving one car, we decided car shopping was not something we did well together. Richard buys a car like Bill Cosby. Play hardball. Don’t give anything up. Take your time. ALWAYS walk off the lot.

I buy a car like a woman who has no time and who is easily impressed.

“Lumbar support! Fantastic! Our old van leaks oil! Bluetooth technology! Exciting! Our old van has a broken parking brake! Automatic doors! LOVE it! The gas gauge doesn’t work in the old van!”

I was giving everything away about our trade-in and I was an easy sell. I fell in love with that first van. When I realized Richard had no intention of buying THAT particular van I felt disappointed and delegated the car shopping to him.

Fast forward a few weeks and we had hardly said ten words to each other about the new car situation. I get a text

“I just bought a van.”

Then a phone call.

“You have 30 minutes to clean out the old van and bring it in to pick up your new one.”

So the kids and I frantically cleaned our stuff out of the old van while visions of that episode of Wonder Years passed through my mind, making me all kinds of sentimental. I cried on the way to the dealership.

It was a good thing that I only had 30 minutes to mourn the loss of that van. That van was the third generation of the Hall Family Dodge Caravans. All three drove across the country and back. They all were the vehicle of so many family memories. And just like the kitchen table, we inherited it making our own memories inside. Three of our four babies came home in that van.

I don’t have it in me to write out all the miles and moments known to that van. It will be missed. But I gotta say, the lumbar support really is fantastic.

Camalamarooski

April 11, 2013November 16, 2018 / Jo Bird / 1 Comment

Cameron turned eight this year. EIGHT is a big one around here. He started Scouts and his baptism is scheduled for May 4th. He couldn’t be more thrilled about his opportunity to be the center of attention. I think he’s excited about the ordinance too.

Cameron is a sports announcer in the making. He lives, breaths, sleeps, reads all things sports. Driving in the car there is the constant hum of Cameron’s color commentary from the back seat. It’s intense people.

He is also Mr. Social, always wondering when we can invite people for dinner, when he can have a play date; making sure we attend every church and school activity. He loves to be busy with social things. He also loves structure, he asks me incessantly about what our “plan” is. What’s our plan for lunch, what’s our plan for the weekend, what’s our plan for the day, the homework plan, the chores plan, the reading plan. Someday our little Mr. Organized is going to rock the spreadsheet.

Cam continues to have a hypersensitive conscience. He’s the kind of kid that you just give him “the look” and he falls in line. He is prone to guilt and eager to please. (These are the things I know he gets from me, and it gives me a little anxiety worrying he will be insecure.)

He is also a bit of a manipulator. As demonstrated by the contract below, he exercises dominion over his desperate younger brother. He is the oldest child, I think bossy is written in his code.

Cameron does well in school, and we really feel so blessed by his genuine desire to do the right thing. Sometimes a little ego and self-absorption keep him from feeling empathy and compassion, but we’re going to assume that will develop with age.

For his birthday he got a basketball hoop, a “real” one that he plays on the back patio for hours at a time. Before school, after school, whenever he can sneak away. It was well worth the $$ that’s all I can say…

Scriptures from Baca and Grandpa Bird for the big #8. Let a new tradition be born!

There have been similar contracts about Eli keeping the room clean while Cameron is at school, and Eli choosing Madden 09 instead of MarioKart when it’s his turn to pick the Wii game.

March madness has invaded my house. I’m finding homemade brackets everywhere.

Cameron and I went to see the Harlem Globetrotters together. He loved it, therefore I loved it by association.

Eli Eli Puddin’ ‘n’ Pie

April 11, 2013November 16, 2018 / Jo Bird / Leave a comment

Eli had a birthay- shout hooray!

When I pull out the hand-me-down clothes for Simon, enough time has gone by since Eli wore them that I am sometimes overcome with nostalgia, and the realization that time passes so quickly. Because of the gap in years between Eli and Miriam, I feel like Eli and I had a really great year when he was two. So now that Simon is two, and wearing those cute little clothes, I have been reminiscing about those days with my little buddy Eli.

And now he is six!

Eli is smart. He is shy. He is detail-oriented and either focused to a fault or totally distracted. He is a wandering soul, easily absorbed in the world around him. He is the kid who literally stops to smell the roses. He is sensitive. But hell hath no fury like an angry Eli. He would do anything for Cameron, or any of his siblings. He is nurturing and kind. He will play for hours by himself in his bedroom while the little ones nap. I love the days when he doesn’t go to kindy because he keeps Mim and Si entertained.

A few months ago as the kids climbed in the van after school Cameron shouted to a boy in his class something about the boy’s “annoying sister” – who happens to be in Eli’s class. Cameron started wailing and this is how it went

Cameron: Eli hit me for no reason!
Eli: No I didn’t….There was a reason!

The reason turned out to be that it bothered Eli that Cameron had said something rude about his classmate.

On another trip home from school Eli informed us that he was going to go to 1st grade for reading groups.

Cameron: Are there any other kids in your class going?
Eli: Nope.
Cameron: Are there any other kindergartners going?
Eli: Nope.
Cameron: Are you going to be shy?
Eli: Nope.

Richard and I are banking on Eli’s intelligence to compensate for what he lacks in size, to help him have self-confidence.

Eli is myterious, and parenting him feels like a crapshoot. He can be hard to discpline because it’s hard to find consequences that really reach him. But a few things we have discovered that he really cares about, that we can use as leverage are nickels, Richard’s nightly ritual of reading Narnia, the Wii, and all things Star Wars.

Because speed is not his strength we thought Chess would be just the kind of game for him. For his birthday he also got a Star Wars X-Wing model, a couple books, and some Star Wars legos.

Obviously we love our Eli-Pie and love the way he stretches our limits and shifts our paradigms.